Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they like fat women too?
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Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they like f... - 1/11/2010 5:58:32 PM
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maggie055
Posts: 2
Joined: 1/11/2010
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hello all members,
Let me just share with you what I'v seen recently,
Yesterday, I came across a website that is diplaying a video about overweight women, as I'm one of them,
After watching the video, I become more confused and frustrated.
Here is the link to the video:
http://www.viddler.com/explore/themodernmancom/videos/1/
I just watched this video and almost can’t believe some of the stuff this guy says, and I am now left wondering whether or not this guy is right.
So, I am putting the question to everyone on this forum:
Do men find fat women attractive?
Do I have to become slim for guys to find me attractive?
Please take some time to view the video and then you can advice.
Yours,
Maggie
An overweight woman with a nice heart!
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 6:08:04 PM
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4lilMonkies
Posts: 514
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
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I don't have to watch the video to give you my opinion.
1. Yes, there are some men who find fat women attractive. When my husband and I met I was 200 lbs. I was wearing a size 18/20 and a D cup. And he called me a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). At that time I had been going to a gym and losing weight (had lost about 40 lbs and wanted to lose another 20 or so) but he loved me the way I was. Now I've had four kids and have put on about 50 lbs since we met and he has given me more compliments about my beauty now than he has ever before. Why? Because he loves me. All of me. He loves how I am as a wife and how I care for him, and he loves how I raise and care for our children.
2. You can become slim only for you. Do it for your health. Other people will always have some sort of opinion or another about the way another looks. Too fat, to short, wrong color hair, big hands, funny teeth, weird clothes. If you are not married (which I'm assuming you aren't) then if you are meant to be married, God will bring him in due time. And the place that you are in your life is how he will love you. Fat or slim, that's the way we are. Women are much more than just a size.
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We're not in Kansas Anymore
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 7:06:14 PM
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WasLostAmFound
Posts: 547
Status: online
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My husband has found me attractive from a size 9 to a size 16...weight range from about 145lbs to 210lbs. It's never made a hill of beans of difference to him what my weight was/is. I'm losing weight...but it's FOR ME. His only preference is that I leave my hair LOOOOOOOONG. The only time he got "bent out of shape" was when I got 7 inches cut off my hair...he didn't speak to me for 3 days 
But weight-wise...he doesn't care...(and he's a skinny thing, 6' tall and MAYBE 150lbs).
NDY
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Formerly known as NotDoneYet...but...God had other plans!!!! My new blog... http://retirednavywife.wordpress.com/
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 8:05:37 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 3999
Joined: 4/12/2005
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My mom has been overweight since early adulthood, so before dad met her. He loves her with all his heart, through all her drastic weight changes (and mental health issues as well).
When dh and I met, I was about 200 lb. After we married I got really sick and got down to 170 and he was downright worried about me, he thought being that "skinny" was unhealthy.  After children he didn't care one whit about stretching and sagging and even gaining more weight. He never mentioned it at all until my weight crept over 250 and then again, he was worried about my health.
I know many women, overweight or even obese, who are well-loved by their men.  Honestly, a good man who's wife respects him, loves him, and treats him well will not have too much trouble adjusting to a higher-than-ideal weight. Real love is so much deeper than fat or thin. Also, if you are active and eat healthy, there is actually a visual difference between how you look and how you look when you are feeding on junk food and not exercising at all. My dh calls it "healthy fat" vs "sick fat", and once he pointed it out, I started to notice it too. Two people can weigh exactly the same and wear exactly the same size clothes, and give off two very different visuals. Rather than worrying about the segment of the male population that has a silly obsession with looks, work on yourself. If you're not active, get active. If you eat poorly, start eating healthy. If you have spiritual issues, go deeper with God. Focus on that and when God brings the right man into your path, you will be ready to love and be loved.
If you are willing to consider a man from another culture, you might also find your pool of possibilities a lot larger, too. I happened to marry an African man. Not all cultures are thin-obsessed like America is. Here even the medical weight charts are somewhat skewed and the whole BMI thing is a joke.
_____________________________
 Moo
"Yup, I'm in agreement with Maggie here on all of this" Manda, April 2010
The Ballad of Bad Biruk
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 8:12:49 PM
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Auben
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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People like what they like...that's true of both sexes.
I haven't noticed that only skinny girls fall in love and get married.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 9:54:53 PM
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carebearstare
Posts: 111
Joined: 10/9/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Wonder_Woman
I'm at a point right now that I believe being thin is the only way a man will ever like me, or at least find me attractive.
first off unless your boyfriend's comment was prefaced with 'the dr says your diabetes/LDL/some other medical issue with body weight being a strong correlator is getting out of hand, so _______', then that was a truly asinine thing to say. i hope you can find out where that came from.
regarding the above, look at the posts above yours! all sorts of people get dates and get married. the biggest pitfall to watch out for is hating yourself, because that i think *will* be a red flag for guys, to say nothing of what it will do to you personally.
if you set out to get healthy/get in shape/ be able to do that sport/ etc and think it would be great to lose weight in the process, then you're likely to take a healthy route.
if you set out to be smaller no matter how it happens because you hate yourself and are disgusted by what you see or what you think others must be seeing, then it's not even about the weight anymore, it's about getting that CONTROL that it feels like you don't have when you're constantly being bombarded by negative opinions of yourself. that's when it can take the steep road down.
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 10:08:11 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 3410
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
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I refuse to waste 25 minutes of my life listening to that man's drivel and him going on and on like he is the spokesman for all men.
Some men, particularly those who are athletic or outdoorsy don't like fat women. Others, including but not limited to men who are fat themselves, do.
While I have always been fat and have had limited relationship experience, I can shoot down numerous issues with this guy's statements:
• What kind of child bases his status on what other people think of his woman?
• I am not unhealthy.
• I do not eat more than thin women
• I am not lazy
• I do not have psychological issues
• I actually look much younger than I am. I have been mistaken for someone 10 or even 15 years younger than I am.
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 10:33:39 PM
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HomeSpunLady
Posts: 717
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From: Lovely Pennsylvania!
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When my husband met me and fell in love with me, I was almost 300lbs. I lost weight and when we got married I weighed 220lbs. Yup, I was fat on our honeymoon. It wasn't until about 3 years ago that I lost the rest and got down to the weight I am now. My husband thinks I'm hot stuff (sorry if that offends) and he has told me so himself. He was attracted to me, so much so, HE asked me out. He thought I was attractive when we were dating, when we got married, throughout our seven years and even now.
I realize that is only one experience. But I have had more men hit on me when I was fat then now. (Which I am grateful for, it kinda creeps me out.) There are tons of men who want a woman with meat on her bones, rather than these little stick girls who would break if you hugged them.
Don't think another thing about it. I know it's hard, I've been there, trust me I have. I thought I'd be single for the rest of my life if I didn't loose some weight. But it's not true. (By the way, I can think of at least 3 more friends off the top of my head, who were/are overweight and met kind gentlemen who later became their husbands. And those men LOVE their wives.)
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Kathryn
Just Me
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 10:39:20 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 3999
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
I realize that is only one experience. But I have had more men hit on me when I was fat then now. (Which I am grateful for, it kinda creeps me out.)
Lol. Yeah. I was proposed to twice before dh got to me.  And I never dated those guys, either.  There were definitely some guys attracted to me before I met dh. I don't think I ever believed it because I hated myself, but looking back, I was in denial. Some of them were perfectly normal guys, too, not at all creepy and not ugly either.
Also, being someone who sits back and observes a lot, I watched guys and the ones who would have rejected me outright and in a cruel way because of weight alone had character issues in other areas that would have made them a not-great partner anyway. They might have been a "catch" because of their looks or personality, but if that was all I'd focused on, I'd have been just as guilty of shallowness as they were.
I don't think having a *preference* is a character issue. But guys like the one Wonder-Woman had a run in with have serious character flaws that have nothing to do with a woman's weight.
< Message edited by 3cappuccinosmom -- 1/11/2010 10:47:43 PM >
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Moo
"Yup, I'm in agreement with Maggie here on all of this" Manda, April 2010
The Ballad of Bad Biruk
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 10:49:32 PM
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rgod
Posts: 2191
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Well, I have a friend who is fairly overweight. Men just absolutely love her - it is amazing. And they are forever wanting to get engaged and married to her. And she is over 40. I think she is comfortable with herself and men find that attractive. Plus she's outgoing. I think she is very cute and obviously men do too!
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The Way Out Is In
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 10:58:44 PM
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EclecticJoy
Posts: 10105
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Or, perhaps, post the question over in Relationships, where both men and women could answer.
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 11:04:30 PM
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Saltlight_2188
Posts: 1953
Joined: 10/17/2005
From: the Wiregrass SE Alabama
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I'm pretty overweight (working on it, though) and my hubby thought (and still thinks) that I am beautiful and sexy, his ideal woman. So yes, obviously, some men are attracted to larger gals. But that's not really my main point.
Single men make a lot of noise and bluster over certain characteristics they'd like in a woman, and even what their "turn-offs" might be. But look around you. Very few men actually marry that perfect/beautiful/slim woman that they SAY they want. The average wedding dress size is a 16/18. What does that tell you? That basically, men say one thing, but when they find the woman they truly "click" with, the woman who makes their heart flutter, all those "ideals" often go right out the window.
Yes, some men say/do stupid, shallow, hurtful things. I'm married already and I get my feelings hurt sometimes reading those threads. So I stopped reading them.
But when God brings the man that is right for you, he will think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. So, all others need not even apply! Believe me, you will shake your head in pity at all the men out there who are limiting God's blessings for themselves.
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Lisa Lisa
Mercy triumphs over judgment
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/11/2010 11:22:13 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 1585
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
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quote:
I think she is comfortable with herself and men find that attractive.
Just wanted to second that.
If a woman feels comfortable with herself, regardless of size, people are drawn to her.
Do the best with what you have to work with.
_____________________________
~Kim
Everything can change in a blink of an eye. But don't worry: God never blinks.
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/12/2010 9:06:27 AM
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maggie055
Posts: 2
Joined: 1/11/2010
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thanks in deed for the interest
Iwant to add sth very umportant which is normally as human begings we tend to be so kind towards others. So, as far as i'm concerned, men usually show their sympathy towards overweight women, maybe i'm wrong but I want a rational opinion
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/12/2010 10:05:31 AM
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BelleWeather
Posts: 2189
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: maggie
I just watched this video and almost can’t believe some of the stuff this guy says, and I am now left wondering whether or not this guy is right.
So, I am putting the question to everyone on this forum:
Do men find fat women attractive?
Do I have to become slim for guys to find me attractive?
Please take some time to view the video and then you can advice.
Yours,
Maggie
An overweight woman with a nice heart!
As far as I can tell, most men like women.....Period.
If you lose weight for anyone other than yourself, you will be wasting your time.
_____________________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/12/2010 12:47:50 PM
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HomeSpunLady
Posts: 717
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Lovely Pennsylvania!
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BelleWeather
quote:
ORIGINAL: maggie
I just watched this video and almost can’t believe some of the stuff this guy says, and I am now left wondering whether or not this guy is right.
So, I am putting the question to everyone on this forum:
Do men find fat women attractive?
Do I have to become slim for guys to find me attractive?
Please take some time to view the video and then you can advice.
Yours,
Maggie
An overweight woman with a nice heart!
As far as I can tell, most men like women.....Period.
If you lose weight for anyone other than yourself, you will be wasting your time.
Aint that the truth!
_____________________________
Kathryn
Just Me
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/12/2010 3:32:50 PM
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betterisoneday
Posts: 450
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
Well, I have a friend who is fairly overweight. Men just absolutely love her - it is amazing. And they are forever wanting to get engaged and married to her. And she is over 40. I think she is comfortable with herself and men find that attractive. Plus she's outgoing. I think she is very cute and obviously men do too!
Take the first part of this post and you just described almost all the overweight friends I've had.
My experience is that men only like bigger women; but other people have the opposite experience so I figure it must just depend on the guy.
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No reserves. No retreat. No regret.
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RE: Are men only attracted to slim women, or do they li... - 1/12/2010 4:44:21 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 1137
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
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First I hate the word fat.
I weigh 195 and wear a size 16. This time last year it was a 22 and around 230.
But for the first 38 years of my life I was pretty much thin. Size 6 when married. And I am 5'9".
For 24 of those 38 years - with the exception of 1 guy - I hardly EVER dated. I figured it had to do with my face. I break out some and my nose is big. I think as women we all look at that so-called imperfection that stands out to us.
Now, I do believe in all that do the best with what you have stuff. But a REAL man - one who knows how to love and loves Jesus most - will not look at your dress size, or glasses, or nose size, or hair thickness....He will look at your heart. And when he falls in love with that heart, everything else will be "hot stuff" to him! We are created in the image of God - and he created everything! And thank goodness we don't all look alike. And even though I do sometimes sigh when I see those "beauties" on the red carpet....I don't want their lives. I don't want their "men."
To everyone out their who has walked through the doors of Lane Bryant...you are one hot mama!
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Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
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Eihstein's IQ may be higher than mine, but God's IQ is higher than anyone's.
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