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Respect of different denominations & feeling superior - 3/20/2010 9:28:14 AM
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bella05
Posts: 42
Joined: 4/22/2008
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Hi all,
I'm curious as of how to act during this this situation... My husband and I are protestant and his family is all Catholic. When we visit them, we go to mass with them out of respect and to show that we're not divided. We're all one in Christ. However, when they visit us, we invite them to attend church with us and afterwards we'll ask them to go to brunch, but they always refuse. They find a local Catholic Church and we all go our separate ways. It's funny though because one time we didn't go to mass with them and they asked why we weren't going. ???
Sometimes I feel that my in-laws don't think my husband and I are Christians. It's a little upsetting because we don't want division in the family. But I think at times, they feel superior. It's upsetting because I know Jesus never meant for this type of division in the Churches. And it is uncomfortable. We're opening up to them, but they aren't opening up to us.
I read online that Catholics are not allowed to go to Protestant services? They're not allowed to take our Communion and they're not supposed to sing our worship songs. Is this true? If it were you, would you continue to go to mass with them when visiting? Do Catholics see other Christians as not true Christians?
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RE: Respect of different denominations & feeling superior - 3/20/2010 9:55:53 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 7701
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
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I would not think (though I surely do not know) that your relatives are being "Superior"; just following the edicts of the Roman Catholic Church.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Respect of different denominations & feeling superior - 3/20/2010 10:09:06 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 4042
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I read online that Catholics are not allowed to go to Protestant services? They're not allowed to take our Communion and they're not supposed to sing our worship songs. Is this true? If it were you, would you continue to go to mass with them when visiting? Do Catholics see other Christians as not true Christians?
Some is true, some not. Catholics are not supposed to take communion anywhere but a Catholic church. The nature of communion for Catholics is *very* different from most Protestants and that is understandable. Like any other denomination, some see everyone else as not-quite-Christian, and others are much more ecumenical. You can't pain Catholics with such a wide brush.
However, I don't know who wrote all that about not attending other services or not singing.  My family is Catholic and they have no issues whatsoever with visiting Protestant services. My dad came to church with me and my boys for a few weeks when we moved here to help us feel comfortable and not alone. He can sing and clap with the best charismatics.  However, he converted to Catholicism in middle age, and was Protestant before that.
You need to consider the possibility that your inlaws are simply uncomfortable with Protestant style of worship. Depending on what kind of church you go to, from their perspective it might even be bizarre or scary. Even as an evangelical, my first experience with rowdy charismatics scared the daylights out of me.
They also probably still view your husband as Catholic (if a lapsed one), so asking why he isn't going wouldn't be odd, even though they don't go with you.
Since this is the moral issues folder and not a Catholic/Protestant debate, my opinion boils down to this:
It is never wrong to be courteous and respectful to your in-laws. 
Courtesy and respect should grow from your own heart's desire to please God and love others, not from a desire to get something back from others. Don't get stuck in the "tit-for-tat" type of righteousness--"I'll do this good thing, but only if you'll do a good thing for me in return."
It is always dangerous to relationships to assume evil motive ("I think they think we're not Christians").
So, be loving and respectful them because that is what God tells you to do. Stop worrying about if they reciprocate exactly the way you do. Stop looking for offenses, and start looking for ways that you can connect with them. If God leads you to understand that respecting them includes doing "Catholic stuff" once in a while with them, then go and do it with a joyful heart and enjoy the connection you do have with them.
If they are generally decent people, then seeing you behave in a Godly, consistently loving manner towards them will over time foster family connection. 
_____________________________
 Moo
"Yup, I'm in agreement with Maggie here on all of this" Manda, April 2010
The Ballad of Bad Biruk
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